The Savvy Shopper.

Malaysians love to shop. Ask any tourist guide who has led a Malaysian tour group and he'll probably tell you that "When are we going shopping?" is the most frequently asked question, not "When are we going to see the bunch of famous old stones?" or "When are we visiting the biggest cathedral in the country?"
Even when we're not on holiday, shopping ranks high on our list of pleasurable things to do. If you don't believe me, visit a shopping mall on a weekend or public holiday. Sometimes you can't even enter the car park due to the congestion, let alone get a parking spot, let alone step foot into the mall unless you park illegally on the road outside.

Rising inflation doesn't seem to have dampeneed the shopping spirit of these crowds are anything to go by. Truth be told, if one practises some self-restraint, she need not burst her budget unnecessary spending. In fact, she doesn't even have to spend a single cent at the mall!
Here's how a savvy shopper can shop with an empty wallet. Technically, it should be a window shopper as no purchase is made but for the sake of a nice sounding moniker, let's stick to savvy shopper. And let's assume that the savvy shopper is a WOMAN to avoid the he/she conundrum.

Readers (especially those who are the females), pay attention to this!

How a savvy shopper can shop with an empty wallet?

The savvy shopper leaves her house with just a touch of make-up, enough to get by without looking like an invalid. As soon as she gets to the mall, she heads for the cosmetics shop for a makeover. She doesnt mind using tester kits but to be more hygienic, she brings her own applicators for the lipstick,eye-shadow and blusher. Before she leaves the shop,she sprays herself liberally with perfume or eau de toilette.

She's now ready to swing. Her next stop is the music shop where she could browse through the VCDs while listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" playing over the PA system. Even if she couldn't afford to buy anything, she could feast her eyes on the posters of her favourite singers such as Back Street Boys and Barney The Purple Dinosaur.

Her next stop is her favourite hunt : the bookshop. She picks up a chick-lit book, parks her bottoms on the most comfortable spot and proceeds to read it from cover to cover. In an hour, she has guzzled the 250-page volume, thanks to her speed-reading skill which she picked up from Speed Reading for Cheapos Who Don't Buy Books at this very bookshop.

It's lunch time and the savvy shopper begins to feel her tummy rumbling. She takes the escalator down to the supermarket. At the entrance, she picks up a shopping basket which will be her ticket to a satisfying meal, free of charge.

First, to the biscuits aisle for appetiser. She approaches the promoter holding a tray of biscuits. It's her lucky day. There's an assortment of wafer cubes to choose from : strawberry, chocolate, hazel nut and vanilla. She takes one per flavour. Then she tells the promoter that she can't make up her mind between the chocolate and vanilla flavour and if she could have another piece each, she'll be able to decide. The lady smiles as she proffers the tray to her. The savvy shopper pickes up a packet of wafer cubes from the shelf and deposits it in her basket. When she turns into the next aisle, she puts the packet back on the shelf. Her take-and-return (TAR) strategy enables her to get into the good graces of sales promoters without spending a cent!

Next on the menu, tuna sandwich! The flavour of the day is curry. She eats it with a "this is so goooodddddddddd" expression complete with wide eyes. The young promoter asks her to take another piece. She does so, simultaneously taking two cans of tuna and placing them in her basket.

Now to the main course. The main course happens to be instant noodles with tomyam seasoning. The savvy shpper has her own way of getting more food into the thimble-sized plastic cups used to serve the food. She just has to casually remark,"So little, how to taste the food?" and the promoter will heap more food into the cup or let her have two servings.

Still feeling peckish,she heads for the cereal section. Breakfast cereal samplers are the most generous of the lot,dishing out food in large paper cups. She takes a cup and executes her TAR operation.

Now to wash everything down with a nice drink. The usual choices are cultured milk, iced tea, coffee with creamer or a new fizzy drink. Two of her favourites are on offer today. She downs a cup of new Cola and takes the coffee for the road. She will slowly drink it on her way out as it's very hot. Incidentally, the savvy shopper never goes out the same way she came in as she doesn't want the promoters to see her with an empty basket. Her reputation is at stake here.

With her appetite satiated-she doesnt eat a lot as she has to watch her figure-she heads for the boutique. Of course she can't afford the clothes there. They run into three-digit figures and higher. She takes the maximum of three garments into the changing room and tries them on. If she looks good in them, she takes a photo of herself with her camera phone so that she can post them on her blog when she gets home.

After spending more than an hour boutique-hopping and browsing in knick-knack shops, the savvy shopper begins to feel tired. A good massage will do wonders for her aching shoulders and feet. She heads for the concourse where some massage chairs have been set up. A handsome young man waves her over. She gladly sinks into a huge massage chair. The hunk turns on the switch and the chair vibrates and rubs her down from the shoulder to waist to feet. She smiles and nods as the man spins his sales talk. When the demo is over, she takes a brochure from him, saying she'll call him after she's had a chance to think it over.

The savvy shopper has savoured the mall-crawling experience without spending a single cent. She has enjoyed free air-conditioning, free cosmetics, free music,free books, free food and free massage.


Taken from Honk! If you're Malaysian.
By, Lydia Teh.

Who says nothing's free in this world?

-Free Lemon?-
Photo taken @ Carrefour, Subang Jaya.