Stop Denying.

Many times this has been tied to a rock. Throwing that rock into the bottomless ocean hoping it will never ever turn up onto the surface but guess what? that string broke many times and obviously, it appeared back onto the surface. I'm tired of tying this to a rock over and over again. From now on, it's gonna stay afloat.
My very last drop of energy has been mustered to deny.
Deny.Deny.Deny.
Today is the day I stop denying. I am out of energy. I have come to a firm decision to call a halt to it. No more denying. Although this decision of mine slashes me inside out,it is time to face the cold hard fact. The truth. The reality
.It is no more comfortable as how it was and I despise that. Tried being in denial about that but I cant anymore.Adding to that, I am no more in denial in where I stand. It is definitely a hard slap to see her above me.
hm.. maybe I should be more like her to get the same attention.... on 2nd thoughts, nah... I cant tolerate everything about that person, I'm not that evil to turn myself into a person I hate so much! I love myself too much to be that sort of person!

I wish something could be done...(aaa... ying.. stop wishing. WAKE UP, WILL YOU?! STOP FOOLING YOURSELF!! )

I guess, I should never have put my expectation that high.

There are no words to describe the impact you had in my life, thank you...

-The end of being the person I was-